Impulsive, Irrational, and Grandiose


                                                                                Sailor Jerry Flash

When you’re Bi-polar, you are prone to grandiosity. Like your wild swinging moods, everything you think and do is BIG.  A BIG success.  A BIG failure.  Even if it’s all in your head.  It’s Big.

I’ve been fantasizing, when I can’t sleep, about what the cover of my book will look like.  The difference in glossy or a matte finish, the font, the cover art.  I’ve been waffling between a pin-up girl or a sailor tattoo or  some more sexy, smoking imagery.  Maybe all of the above.  I guess the whole flash tattoo thing has gone out of style, but since my arms and chest are covered in Sailor Jerry swallows and anchors and mermaids and clipper ships, I can’t escape it.  When I got sailor tattoos years ago, I thought they were timeless and classy, thinking I would never tire of them.  Eventually they fade, the sun drains their color, and they become invisible every time you look in the mirror – like how you rarely notice your eyes or a the way your upper lip folds when your mad or the cluster of freckles on your nose.  I was not betting on, however, the whole cool-hipster-ghetto sailor tat craze several years later.  I still love them, when I remember they are there, but displaying them on my book jacket might be a bit cliche these days instead of the attention grabbing POP!  I hope for.

I’ve been fantasizing (in the rocking few, energetic days since I’ve been on this site) about future posts and discussions and little thumbs up signs and followers.  But mainly, I’ve been excited at the prospect of screwing the Lit Mag circuit and putting some of my work out there directly.  Rejection, whether it’s a paper letter or a quick, generic email, sucks.  I think it hurts more when it comes via snail mail.  It’s a harder, concrete, in-your-face form of Rejection, one that can’t be accidentally deleted but purposely thrown away with a sigh and a stomp and a back porch smoke, swearing you won’t waste your time anymore.  Fuck ’em.  Make them come to you.

My grandiosity says they will.


6 Responses to “Impulsive, Irrational, and Grandiose”

  1. Oh Lennon….I love this, and it is so you! I am really excited for you, You f&ck$n nut! I miss the shit out of you….Maybe we should discuss the sold for twelve pack saga again…..I adore you LENNON!

  2. First entry down and I’m so glad you started this!

  3. 3 aunt candy

    hey what about a picture of your tattooed arm holding a lit cigarette, for a cover

    • Yeah, but I’d have to buff up these arms, no doubt. Good suggestion Candy! Thank for checking this out. Next week, pieces of my memoir will commence so check back often. L

  4. You’re stuff’s good, glad you decided to f’ the mags! Keep dreaming about that cover, I’d go for the matte finish.

    • Ah thanks for the feedback! Yeah, those lit mags haven’t done me any favors. Though, I’m sure they’d do a finer job of editing, but hey, we can’t be great at EVERYTHING. Glad you stopped by.

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